Application Answers

 I'm excited!  😊

Why, you ask?  

Because I am about one week away from getting on an airplane and flying back to Buffalo, NY where I will hop in a Turo and return to a little lakeside destination called Fellowships Of The Spirit.

Last July I traveled to FOTS to attend a weekend seminar designed to help people from various faith backgrounds ascertain whether or not a little known denomination called the National Spiritualist Association of Churches may be able to assist them in taking steps to become officially ordained at a school housed there within the center.  

I could recap the craziness of the 2022 calendar year that served as the springboard for me to go on a hunt for such an opportunity, but I've done that in previous blogs and facebook status updates that you're more than welcome to thumb through if you're interested.

As it stands, I have the night off unexpectedly from work this evening and I can think of no better way to pass the time in my airbnb than to stay up transferring all my answers from my official FOTS Application into a blog for posterity.  

There will be a Red Baron pepperoni pizza and some Diet Mountain Dew thrown into the mix for good measure probably sometime around 1:30am.

Sure - it won't be a traditional "Nick Blog" but one day I hope to be able to look back at these questions from this application and review these answers as I continue to chronicle my spiritual journey of faith; what led me to the place I currently occupy and what my mindsets were when I answered the questions posed.  

So without further adieu, let's get into it!  

Question 1: What is your background in religious &/or spiritual education? Please include any religious education from childhood as well as church affiliations maintained as an adult.

My background in religious spiritual education is exhaustive and diverse.  

I was born into a family in which my mother and father had sort of "defaulted" into his family's faith tradition - Methodism.  Mom and Dad attended my grandparents' Methodist church and I attended preschool and Vacation Bible School there as a child until approximately age 6 when my parents began to take exception with the idea of being under the leadership of a female pastor who had been appointed to begin serving the congregation.  

At this juncture, our family sought out a local body denominationally more in keeping with my mother's upbringing in the Baptist church.  

I said the "Sinner's Prayer" as a child in this denomination and initiated of my own free will an individual journey in faith while a member of this church.  Here I was educated weekly in Sunday School & Children's Church and attended Vacation Bible School in the summer.

Once a teenager, I began attending the Youth Group here under the leadership of my mom's sister who they had encouraged to join the church along the way.  

Again, this church faded into obscurity for my immediate family following the congregation's decision to replace its pastor with an individual who my father took exception with - this time because of the new pastor's affinity for a teacher named Robert Schuller.  

My dad believed Schuller was duplicitous and had motives to indoctrinate traditional Christians with teaching more in keeping with the New Age Movement.  

As we sought out a new church, my father began to maintain the family's spiritual education primarily through VHS tapes he ordered in the mail from a television preacher named Jack Van Impe who emphasized the Christian response to something called "End Times Prophecy".  

My father - & to a lesser extent my mother - became strong adherents to both Van Impe and to Christian teachings centered around the End Times.

I began to suffer nightmares centered around the imagery employed by Van Impe and other teachers like him.

Dad led us to join a string of Baptist churches during this time; some identifying as Southern Baptist and others as Independent Fundamental Baptist.

I was taken out of public schools during these years and attended grades six through twelve in a school housed inside one such Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church.

There were harsh consequences in this environment for doing anything not in keeping with the traditional sense of Christianity adhered to by school leadership.  I was in the principal's office often because it was believed I demonstrated "...a spirit of rebellion and insubordination."  I maintained high grades in the classroom but went home nearly every day with demerits, chiding notes from teachers, etc for my "bad attitude".

One particularly memorable exchange involved my voicing concern that the OT story of King David and his contemporary "Jonathan" was being taught as a tale of close friendship between the two men when I personally had been in possession of some scholarship on the subject that suggested they were romantic partners.

Apart from school, I maintained my active status in the teen groups of whatever church we were in at the time.  At approximately age 16, a city wide teen choir I had joined to prepare for an upcoming Billy Graham Evangelistic Crusade led me to identify a duo of girls from my school (also selected to participate in the choir).

These two girls attended a church with the designation Assembly of God & gave me my first glimpse into what I learned is called Charismatic Christianity.

I realized I had accessed a segment of Christian society that taught that the Holy Spirit was an equally important teammate to the Holy Trinity as God the Father & Jesus The Son.

I became vastly curious as to why there almost seemed to be a resentment of something referred to as "The Gifts Of The Holy Spirit" among the Baptist leaders of my Christian high school.

So my first year of college, once free from home, I began investigating by joining an Apostolic Assembly.

I noticed very quickly the differences in emphasis between this faith group and my parents' faith group.

Both believed in End Times Prophecy but while mom and dad's Baptist congregation had spent the previous year preparing for dystopian chaos that they believed would accompany something called "Y2K", the Apostolics had been in a frenzy for a different reason: a new era of spirituality in which "The Lord's Prayer" would be literally answered and God's will on heaven would begin to be fully apparent and present on earth.

This event, according to the Apostolics, would require many Christians who had been "baptized in the Holy Spirit" to have laid claim to their spiritual giftings.

The congregation here emphasized that the primary indicator of whether or not someone had been baptized in the Holy Spirit would be that they received the ability to "speak in tongues".

While many of my college aged friends had been able to quickly receive this gift upon asking for it in prayer during end of service altar calls, I did not experience it for myself until having conducted much more investigation.

I loved music and it had been an avenue through which I had been introduced to much of Charistmatic Christianity so following completion of my Associates Degree, I enrolled in a 2 year Charismatic Bible College housed inside of a mega church adjacent to Oral Roberts University in Tulsa, OK.

While here, I did experience the long awaited advent of what this denomination refers to as "Baptism In The Holy Spirit" (as evidenced by speaking in tongues) but I did not make it into the second year of the program due to having permitted said Holy Spirit to guide me into a season of transparency pertaining to my sexual orientation.

I was a gay man of faith and interested in eventually meeting and pursuing lifetime romance with another gay man of faith.

When my educators invited me to consider attending something called reparative therapy at an organization known as Love In Action in Memphis, Tennessee I initially considered it but ultimately declined.  Sidebar: this organization was eventually the centerpiece for a movie starring Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman called "Boy Erased".  

I began to look into the possibility that there may be Christian denominations that existed that were gay affirming and discovered the MCC network of churches.  

I learned that many gay Christians from MCC congregations were participating in a new medium of interaction called social media and that an online hub in which many of them were getting to know one another was a message board maintained on a website called gaychristian.net

I promptly became a member of this Message Board Community and began my life as a gay Christian blogger; documenting my ongoing faith education and inviting others to engage with feedback to my long form observations.

It was a RICH and beautiful time.

I began supplementing my spiritual education a few years after this when invited to move to Austin, Texas to take a paid internship learning the complexities of Sleep Disorder Sciences.

To this day, I continue to be amazed at the spiritual implications of Sleep Disorders Sciences that I began learning there in Austin in 2006 and I have maintained my status as a nationally registered polysomnographic technologist since 2009 (and rely on the designation to secure work by which I keep myself employed full time).  

Most recently, I have become a virtual participant in The Sanctuary in Jupiter, Florida under the leadership of Tullian Tchvidjian (grandson of the late Billy Graham) and am now, of course, applying to begin work towards ministerial ordination with Fellowships Of The Spirit.

Question 2: List the title of 1-3 books that have had a major impact on your spiritual direction.

The Message by Eugene H. Peterson

Everything Is Spiritual by Rob Bell

The Children Are Free by Jeff Miner & Tyler Connoley

Question 3: Tell us about the overall direction of your life so far...

I was working as a cashier at one of the busiest Walmart stores in the country from approximately 2002-2004.  

Said store was in the city of Tulsa, OK where I was enrolled as a student at a charismatic Bible College at the time.

A self proclaimed "prophet & apostle" named Dick Mills was headlining a night of summer learning sessions at Oral Robets University across the street from our store and found his way to my cash register one August afternoon.  

He was buying a bottle of Borden Strawberry milk and, if I remember correctly, some notebook paper.  

His total came to $4.29.  

During our brief interaction, I confessed to Mr. Mills that I had seen him interact with some people my age in attendance at his sessions at ORU the previous night and that I had been hoping I would be one of the people he might have a "word of knowledge" for (this was phraseology employed when a spiritual elder in the Pentecostal church had been bestowed with insight from the Holy Spirit that they were responsible for passing on to another).  

Mr. Mills initially seemed to be annoyed that his cashier was trying to get him to produce prophetic words of insight on the spot in a line at Walmart but maintained a sense of graciousness as he wished me well, collected his bags and left.

A few minutes after he had departed, he returned & handed me the receipt I'd supplied him for his milk and paper.

Next to his total due, $4.29, he'd written the abbreviation "Isa" and inserted a colon (:) between the '2' and the '9' on the slip.  

He thanked me for being desiring of insight into my faith walk and told me that the verse that had come to mind when he was reviewing his receipt was one I should commit to memory because it would serve as the theme for my Christian walk and ministry throughout my life.  

I did not have a cellphone in my pocket during those years that I could look the verse up on between customers - such technological advances were not commonplace yet! So on my next break, I stopped by the book section at the front of the store and found a Bible to crack open and investigate.  

I discovered that Isaiah 42:9 reads, "See, the former things have taken place, & now NEW things I declare! Before they spring into being, I announce them to you."

I feel that that verse has lived up to what was promised me in that Tulsa Walmart.

I continuously have found myself at the helm of "new" things that I feel God is declaring are worthy of my attention and that these things are often things being overlooked by evangelical Christians at large.  

It is both a blessing and a source of frustration at times.  Trying to get friends and family to join me in observing and responding to various things I feel God asking us to examine is often met primarily with responses of skepticism and concern.

In an attempt to keep my sense of humor about me, I have dubbed myself "The Squawk Prophet" because I often feel as though I am resigned to endlessly, repeatedly warning people I love of potential bad outcomes (like a loud squawking bird who won't quiet himself!) only to inevitably have to stand back and watch them become the recipients of the bad things I was hoping to help them avoid having to experience.  

This phenomenon has most recently fleshed itself out in the most detrimental way in memory when on June 23, 2023 my parents lost their home of 49 years to a fire.

While I would never have guessed that a fire would be responsible for destroying the home, I had felt led to share with them multiple times over in the years that preceded it that I felt they should consider moving because something in my gut has always led me to believe that that home was not one that they were meant to be living out their retirement years in.  

With regards to the question posed, "What is the overall direction of your life?", the answer is presently that I am a son, husband, brother, and uncle in a family trying to recover from a devastating event while simultaneously continuing to take seriously my own individual journey to further develop myself spiritually.  

There is never a shortage of "new things" being declared by God & I ?  I continue to feel as though my Walmart Milk Prophet was correct when he speculated that I would live a life centered around blasting out the Almighty's every press release to help people (hopefully) be able to prepare... and also a life centered around never taking satisfaction in saying "I told you so" when they refuse to do so. 

Question 4:  Where do you see yourself in five years, personally AND professionally?

In March of 2022, I had decided that I had had enough of being dependent directly on large healthcare organizations for my paycheck.  

In many ways, the COVID pandemic had pushed me to my breaking point and I decided that if I was going to continue working in sleep disorders diagnostics that I would need to do so as an independently contracted healthcare worker.

I formed my own LLC and began accepting assignments to travel across Kansas, Nebraska, & Missouri to provide sleep disorders services to individuals in need of them in rural settings.

In five years, if I am still working in healthcare, I presume that this will still be the medium by which I am offering wholeness and healing to other individuals in this sector.

However, by pursuing ministerial ordination with Fellowships Of The Spirit, I also hope to initiate a new chapter for myself professionally in which I can also pour into others' lives in ways that are less clinical.  

I greatly desire to be able to perform wedding and funeral ceremonies when needed for individuals who do not have ties to any local church bodies (either because of lack of desire to maintain ties on the part of these individuals themselves or, more commonly, because of the church's unwillingness to be affiliated with community members who do not subscribe to adopted church doctrine).  

I believe love and faith are of universal value and should be accessible without prejudice to all people as they find themselves living through big, life-defining moments.

I hope that in the next five years I will have met my goal of acquiring ministerial ordination and can be in a position professionally to help people better realize that and facilitate it for them whether they be my neighbors or my patients in a sleep clinic setting.  

Question 5: What changes in your life are going to be necessary for you to make in order for you to achieve your goals?

Most notably, spending the next two years pursuing ordination with FOTS is going to require me to do a lot of budgeting and traveling!  

I feel as though I have ample experience doing both, however, these tasks requrie planning and (admittedly) more effort than what they once did when I was younger.  

My full time job already keeps me away from home for up to 14 days each month and adding dates spent out of state to be in the classroom at the FOTS campus will mean I see much less of my partner, our pets and my family (who, as mentioned in answers to questions previously posed on this application are currently trying to aid my parents in building back some semblance of a life following a house fire).

I anticipate that it will all be very intense and hectic but well worth having taken the time to do.

Question 6: How do you see this school impacting your life's direction?

One thing that I truly appreciated while attending the Spiritual Insights Parts 1-2 course at FOTS in July of '23 was the ability to just BE.  

I think, if I'm being honest, I have been starving for that type of an environment in which to continue to let myself grow and develop since I came out to myself at age 24.  

Our society (sometimes out of necessity but mostly out of laziness) strives to enforce life as experienced through the art of compartmentalizing.  

It has been a painful and excruciating task to feel as though I am always walking the tight rope with regards to how much of myself I can be around which audience.  

For example, those who have known me in circles where my Christian faith and spirituality take center stage are always very apparently uncomfortable with me openly discussing my marriage to another male and our desire to create safe spaces for closeted folks to do the hard work of coming to accept themselves as something other than heteronormative.  

In contrast, those in my life who know me and interact with me mostly in circles where we collaborate on equality for gay and lesbian members of society also often seem very guarded when I transition into talking about matters of faith and spirituality.  

Again, it is my belief that society has encouraged people to be of the mindset that their peers are unstable if they reveal themselves to be multidimensional.

I believe Fellowships of the Spirit will 1.) give me the launch pad I need to achieve full time ministerial ordination & 2.) give me a forum in which I can fully grow over two years of training into someone who is able to be all of who I am consistently regardless of what the preferences or comfort levels of others in close proximity might be.  

Question 7:  List three things that you would like to receive from this school.

1.) Full time ministerial ordination

2.) Opportunity to rediscover my Christian faith through the lens of of spirituality; reconnect with my religion's neglected "mystic" roots

3.) Networking opportunities - discover how what "The Great I Am Presence Of The Universe" is doing in my life is meant to impact and make more meaningful the narrative that He is authoring in the lives of others who I will call classmates and mentors while at FOTS.  

Question 8: What are your greatest challenges & strengths, both personally and professionally?

Greatest Personal Challenges:

- Forgiving others for misdeeds to the same extent that I believe I have been forgiven for my own shortcomings.  I desperately want to be better at this.

- Not objectifying male peers (reducing them to "eye candy") & also giving equal consideration to the contributions of female peers when collaborating on a task.  I relate to the genders in a way that I acknowledge is atypical and not always productive.  Some of this is undoubtedly "baked in" from the upbringing I had in the era and environment in which I was raised.  I work a lot on figuring out how interplay between myself and others works best and will be at its most healthy.  

Noteworthy Professional Strengths:

- Put me in front of a keyboard and watch me go!  I love the written word and all the marvelous things that God has accomplished using it as His medium of choice over the span of history.  I like to think that as I have been faithful to sit down and pound out composition after composition over the course of my life that I am making a raindrop sized contribution to the documenting of thought and self discovery that He has had all of humanity attempt to undergo over the ages.  I incorporate this love of writing into most everything I do - from writing up notes on a patient's chart to crafting a well thought out facebook status update.  

- Utilizing the power of laughter.  I believe that if you can get a person to smile, you can get them to engage.  And if you can get them to engage, you can get them to cooperate.  And if you can get them to cooperate, you can get them to work towards a common goal.  And if you can get them to work towards a common goal, you can get them to personalize achieving an objective and ignite a passion within them for doing so.  

Question 9: What is your greatest achievement to date?

While I don't typically think of myself in terms of "great achievements accomplished", I will say that I am proud of the fact that I have worked very hard to be as big of a part of my brother's children's lives as what I have.  

My partner and I are uncles to his three sons and a daughter and we represent what I am sure is a very different family unit than what they have the chance to observe elsewhere.  

I have tried ever since the birth of my first nephew (thirteen years ago) to be dependably on hand to be a part of all of their lives and to reinforce the idea that unconditional love is available to each of them.  

I try to praise them when they show interest in learning new things, engage with them in as many fun ways as possible and never discourage them from believing that any goal that they have in mind to achieve is one that I will be on hand to provide moral support for as they work towards it.  

In these ways I believe I am providing the next generation with some amenities that I believe were missing from my own upbringing (or, at least, not as prevalent as what I wish they had been).  

Question 10: Name a specific person who has had an impact on your growth and development.  How have they contributed to your life and influenced you?

In 2014 I met my partner, Zach, through a phone based dating app after a hand full of attempts at relationships with other guys I'd met since coming out of the closet in 2005.  

Zach represented the first person I'd pursued a relationship with who did not have a nearly carbon copy upbringing as my own; that being one that was largely influenced by evangelical, conservative Christianity.  

While Zach was not someone who entered our relationship able to discuss various interpretations of Bible based narratives, he did showcase for me an approach to living life that was more undeniably "Christian" than what I had ever seen modeled by any of the other men I had dated in the past.

Zach showed me what it meant to live with Christ-like compassion for your neighbor and community members via his dedication to his chosen profession - EMS Director for our home city (and much of the outlying county).  

I had always heard it said in the Christian circles I grew up in that "faith without works is dead".  These words were usually spoken by people who were themselves guilty of talking about their faith all day and never letting it inspire actions that were truly reflective of any kind of self sacrifice.  

In Zach I realized I had met an individual who may not know the "backstory" of Christianity (and may not even claim it specifically as his chosen faith) but who understood what it meant to be moved by the Holy Spirit to do unnaturally selfless things every single day that he clocked in and climbed into the back of an ambulance.  

As we grew to love one another more and more, I decided I wanted to be a window for him into the scholastic side of Christianity that he had never had a chance to learn about... and, more importantly, let him be a window for me into the service side of Christianity that empowered a person to minister to others using gauze and bandages as opposed to bulletin inserts and scripture memory challenges.  

Together I feel we have melded together into a very comprehensive portrayal of what the Spirit intends for Christianity to look like - appreciation and reverence for the stories and scholarship that have brought mankind spiritually into the 21st century coupled with the much neglected art of meeting the basic needs of others and doing so while employing compassion.  

______________________________

And that's it!

That was the collection of random blurbs that I submitted to the FOTS review board before I received a phone call to let me know I'd been selected to be included in the two year program that begins October  13, 2023.  

Please remember to keep me in your prayers as I revert back to student status for the first time in a couple of decades.  Lol!

I'm sure I'll be posting lots of reflections along the way so keep your eyes peeled for new blog entries here on "The Sweet Reprieve" and also for the regualr, everyday hilarity I try to keep up over on my Facebook profile.