Savior (Originally Posted August 2009)

 I used to fall asleep to this song, called "Savior".

I used to finish writing in my journal, open up a bedroom window to let in the breeze, & pop on earphones that played only the tunes of Wichita's KTLI Light 99FM.

This song was a favorite of mine in those days. It's by Michael English, one of Christian contemporary music's fallen angels.

I randomly heard it again the other night for the first time in fifteen or so years & was surprised that I remembered the words well enough to sing along.

My favorite phrase in this song is "...the world cries out for love somehow".

I remember as a pre-teen looking up at my ceiling fan whirring & spinning above as those words were sung in my ear over & over again at night.

If there was truth to that assessment then, there certainly is even moreso now.

I've come to understand, however, that as a teenager I lived in a world where those cries for love were not being met with the angry shouting that respond to them today in 2009.

I used to feel that when I went to church on Sunday that anyone could come to the altar at the end of the service. The congregation would rise & prayerfully sing a round or two of "Just As I Am".

...and if in that moment you felt your heart coming to terms with the reality that it too was 'crying out for love somehow', you would go forward & were not denied access to that Love.

Love & redemption used to be as simply attained as kneeling down & asking for them.

Not anymore.

These days Love is so obscure.

People have pretty much figured out that it can't be found in churches anymore, either.

It's like when WalMart stops carrying your favorite flavor of Fruit Roll- Up... & you go through about a month of this inane little routine where you *still* walk down the aisle where it used to be stocked just to see if it might be there... but it never is... & when you ask the stock boy what happened to it he non-compassionately tells you "RipTide Raspberry just wasn't selling. It's been discontinued."

That's what the church is telling people today when they go crying out for love in their midsts.

"We're sorry, but Love has been discontinued."

Some people accept this answer. They go on living their lives still craving a love they once heard rumored was available to them... they still cry out for it... but they don't let themselves believe they'll ever be recipients of what they so desperately pine for.

The minority that's left is a valiant breed.

...& if I may be so bold I'd like to think of myself as being one in their ranks.

They're the ones who don't take 'no' for an answer.

You tell them your store is out of RipTide Raspberry Rollups & they'll make a bee line for Big Lots *convinced* there's still some of those suckers on a store shelf out there somewhere!

Today, this minority has taken their search for a love they're still sure *must* exist to a new frontier.

We punch a time clock for eight hours a day & then hurry home to continue the search for love... online.

We used to, in this country, finish our workday & head home to relax in our easy chairs until it was time to congregate with family around a dinner table complete with pot roast & freshly buttered rolls.

Now it's straight home where our families are lucky to hear a 'hello' out of us before we're off to hole ourselves away in our rooms at our computers sending out our modern day cries for love...

What we used to look for on the floor at the altar we now look for on match.com for $40/month.

We post a status update on facebook & fool ourselves into thinking that if someone cares enough to read it & leave a three or four word comment on it that we are loved & held in high esteem.... that our need is met...

But really, it's not.

If it were we wouldn't continue to flock to every new social networking site that pops up & begin our immediate quest to accumulate as many friends as we can.

Don't get me wrong... there's nothing wrong with any of it. I certainly don't believe someone who keeps their laptop open on facebook several hours a day to be a 'sinner'. Heck, if that were the case (to borrow a line from Paul) I would certainly be the 'chief' of sinners!

But I worry sometimes that those determined sojourners who flock to the internet in search of real community... real love... of whom I count myself a member have gotten distracted from their mission by tweets, twitters, & twitpics.

I guess that thirteen year old with his headphones on is still hungry for RipTide Raspberry Rollups & wonders if anyone else still is too.

I remember the world being a better place when love was accessible to people in a corporate setting.

Is that era over?

Will we ever find love & practice love in each others' midst again?

I know I hope so.

People ask me all the time about my stupid screenname on GCN.

It's "Vizionary" for those of you who don't know.

When I was a senior at Derby Christian School this sales representative came & spoke to all of us about to graduate & presented a sales pitch for class rings.

He gave us each a brochure with 'build your own keepsake' instructions.

First you picked out your birthstone, then the metal you wanted it set in. Next you affixed your school's crest to the center stone & began to look for emblems to adorn each side of the ring that would state something about your personality.

You could pick out a treble clef if you were musically inclined... a cross if you wished to commemorate your faith... or maybe a pair of praying hands.

I knew I probably wouldn't end up getting a class ring that early in the year but I looked at the brochure anyway & imagined what I'd like to get.

I selected an emerald set in white gold & for the emblem to adorn the side I picked out an etching of a setting sun. The single word code to indicate this choice on the order form was "Visionary".

I loved music growing up... & I loved writing... & I loved, loved, LOVED debate. But I really felt that that word represented me well.

"Visionary".

When I joined GCN some five years later I still had that word floating around inside the recesses of my psyche, I guess.

I remember thinking that if there was anything *worth* envisioning in this world it was a chance for people who had been told to hush up & keep quiet by the church to rally together & cry out for love somehow together... elsewhere.

I added a 'z' to the word for pizazz & haven't stopped 'envisioning' since.

I guess that the other day - when I heard the Michael English song referenced earlier - it was sort of a wake up call to me that I had let myself get too distracted.

While my 'envisioning' has been constant my faithfulness to act on what I envision has not been.

I suppose the point of today's blog is to challenge anyone who may find themselves reading it to assess if they too are guilty of becoming too complacent.

We can want all the good things in the world. We can want them badly. But wishing accomplishes very little in the grand scheme of things.

Those cries of the people around us looking for hope & looking for love - they haven't EVER gone away. Even if we've been so misguided as to think that they have whilst we distract ourselves telling half the world via facebook that we '...just ate a 'nummy sandwich.' lol.

I'm going to have a new little nephew entering this world soon.

I really hope he has a chance to meet Jesus.

Not Jesus the political pundit.

Not Jesus the hatemonger.

Not Jesus the terrorist, spewing end of the world propaganda in a frenzied whirlwind attempt to catapult us all into the apocalypse.

But Jesus.

The Jesus who sees you in your bed with your headphones on & answers your cries for love as the ceiling fan whirls overhead.

The Jesus Who forgives... Who changes what needs to be changed in us on His timetable & no one else's. The Jesus Who leaves what *doesn't* need to be changed the hell alone even if His followers insist He should do otherwise.

The Jesus Who loves us all...

The Jesus Who we used to come together to seek out & who I hope we will again.

The One Who answers all those who 'cry out for love somehow'.

The Jesus Who is...the Savior.

I believe He's out there. ...and like so many who are searching for Him He's just waiting to be found.